“5 surefire ways to please your man”
“56 hot sex tips”
“Giving him the sex he wants”
**eyeroll** It’s hard to pass the magazine stand, snapchat stories, and internet viral articles about all the things you “need” to know about sex. But what if you don’t really need to know all that stuff? What if the key to understanding and enjoying sex isn’t in those “56 hot tips”?!
Here are 6 sex facts that you may not see in magazines but are 100% true:
1. Compatibility is about more than just sex.
So many people claim you HAVE to have sex with someone before marriage because you need to be “sexually compatible.” But compatibility is based on so much more than sex- how your relationship works emotionally, mentally, and spiritually will greatly impact how it works sexually. Our best advice to to figure out if you are compatible in those three areas first, because having sex can cloud the real health of a relationship fast. Actors and couple Megan Good and Devon Franklin explain it perfectly:
2. Sex is just one part of a relationship.
To go with point #1, sex is certainly not all a relationship is based on! And it definitely is not all you have to offer either! That’s what we hate about all of those “Tips to please your man” articles… they insinuate that sex- good, “skilled” sex- is the best thing you have to offer. One great thing about not having sex is that you will know for sure that your significant other loves you for so much more than what you can offer sexually. And that’s freaking awesome.
3. Not everyone is having sex.
You may feel like having sex as a teenager is completely normal but many teens aren’t having sex. According to the CDC, less than 38% of US high school females have had sexual intercourse…that means 62% have not! Not having sex actually puts you in the majority. It’s normal not to.
4. Physical relationships build.
Huh? Let’s break it down: the physical parts of our relationship (holding hands, making out, cuddling, etc.) naturally progress from one to the next. You may have noticed it can start to feel unnatural to just kiss or hold hands only. This is because physical intimacy is designed to keep building and growing resulting in sex. So if you don’t want to have sex, set smart boundaries with lots of leeway (NOT just “we can do everything physically but have sex.”)
5. Sex has a learning curve (+ communication helps)!
So, surprise, sex isn’t awesome for everyone, every time. This is why communication is so important because it ensures that you guys can grow together sexually. So find someone you trust so that you can grow together in this area instead of “practicing” on all different people. What will make you the best sexual partner is actually communicating and learning your specific person within a commitment of trust (like marriage).
6. Sex can have unwanted side-effects
We all know about sexually transmitted diseases and you may be thinking “Yeah, yeah, blah, blah.” Most people know STDs exist but think they are rare…but they aren’t. Half of the 20 million new STDs reported each year were among young people, between the ages of 15 to 24. Even condom use cannot provide absolute protection against any STD. The best advice? If you have been sexually active, get tested! It’s also never too late to decrease your chances of contracting an STD by being in a committed mutually monogamous relationship (again… #marriage).
If you are not 100% sure you want to have sex, then don’t. You won’t regret waiting. And if you have had sex before and learned the hard way that it can leave things vulnerable and complicated, IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO WAIT.
Either way, just know that we guarantee that when you are with your forever person after waiting and finally having sex, you will never feel like you have missed out. Promise.
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