No relationship, especially a romantic one, is perfect, and we’re all striving to have healthier ones. But how do we know if we have a healthy relationship? And how do we make our relationships even better?
ARE YOU AN EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR?
Communication isn’t just about talking things out. It’s about listening, understanding, and empathizing. Healthy couples manage conflicts and differences by:
Practicing Empathy and Understanding. Your partner has different ideas and opinions than you. That’s a good thing! Trying to see the world from their perspective helps you understand why there is conflict. Practicing empathy and understanding with your partner helps you avoid explosive arguments.
Being honest about your needs and feelings. Avoid bottling up your emotions or resorting to passive-aggressive behavior. Say how you’re feeling, and what you need, even if it’s hard. A good partner wants to know your feelings and needs.
Practicing active listening. You have needs and feelings, and so does your partner. Do your best to give your full attention and ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand what your partner is saying they want, need, and feel.
Finding ways to compromise. Arguments will happen. The goal should never be to “win”. Instead of lashing out or looking for the upper hand, keep a cool head and work to find a solution that you both can agree on.
DO YOU TRUST AND RESPECT EACH OTHER?
It seems cliche, and it’s true—trust and respect are key to a healthy relationship (especially a romantic one)! Where there’s trust and respect, there’s love, peace, and confidence. You can build trust and respect by:
Being willing to apologize and forgive. Admitting we’re wrong can be the hardest thing in the world. But accepting responsibility, apologizing, and forgiving builds trust. It says “I care about you. I care about us.” The sooner you address and apologize for the conflict, the sooner it can be resolved.
Respecting boundaries. A healthy relationship will always have boundaries, without fear of guilt or retaliation. Healthy boundaries foster safety and deep respect for you and your partner as individuals. Good partners want to take care of the relationship and themselves.
Being reliable and supportive. A healthy partner is there for you when you need them. This can be as simple as not flaking on plans, responding quickly to texts, and being there to help. Don’t get hung up on saying or doing the “right thing” when someone you love needs your support. Asking ‘What can I do to help?’, and then following through, makes a huge difference.
DO YOU INVEST TIME AND EFFORT INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Relationships are like gardens. They require a lot of time, care, and investment to flourish. A healthy relationship means making it a top priority in your life. Healthy couples prioritize their relationship by:
Making an effort to stay connected. Let’s be honest—we’ve all missed (or flat-out ignored) a text because life gets busy. Try not to leave your partner unread, literally or metaphorically. Make a conscious effort to stay connected and carve out time to simply be with them.
Celebrating the little things (and the big ones). However big or small, celebrate and acknowledge the things that matter to your partner. Brag about their successes to others. Tell them you miss them and think of them. When people feel seen and celebrated, they feel loved.
Finding the best way to say, ‘I love you’. It takes time, and effort, to express our love so our partner feels it. Every person receives and gives love a little differently. Actively look for ways to express love to them. Maybe one person loves gifts, and the other person loves compliments. A healthy relationship will always have mutual self-giving love at its center.
YOU ARE WORTH IT
Relationships are a two-way street. You deserve to be nurtured just as much as you care for others! Find the partner who makes you feel loved, respected, and celebrated and don’t let them go! Healthy relationships take work, but they enrich our lives, build community, and provide a sense of belonging. That makes it all worth it!
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